My Ancient Redwood Fell

This trip has turned out to be one of the most memorable I've had due to the loss of my Sacred Redwood Tree.

The very first destination I hit when I enter Southern Humboldt is to visit my Tree which has been how I start and end each of my yearly trips for over 20 years now.

She found me in my early 20's and I felt a huge connection to Her and promised Her I would visit every time I was in the area and I have been seeing Her multiple times during each yearly trip since.

As I arrived, I parked in the same secret spot, and immediately saw something I have never seen in that all familiar space...a HUGE Redwood horizontal laying on the forest floor.

At first I hoped it was another of the many trees around her, but in my heart of hearts I knew, and ran to Her in shock.

This Tree is the home of my heart&soul, the place where I go to whenever a guided meditation tells me to "imagine a special place in Nature", this Tree is what I imagine and connect to when things get rough for me throughout the year...this Tree is what The Healing Woods was named after, because I did so much healing within Her...and now She has fallen.

At first I felt abandoned, went through all the stages of grief within the first 5 minutes of staring at her in shock and felt like an orphan.

This Tree was one of the Ancient Old Growth...close to 3,000 years old...NEVER did I think I would live to see Her fall. Redwoods are supposed to be here WAY past my lifetime, yet here She is...laying on the forest floor amongst the wreckage of all of Her branches which exploded as She hit the ground at some point this year.

2024 has been one of the hardest years for me...ever, and losing my Tree just put the cherry on the shitcake of the year for me.

I took a few days to lick my wounds, be in shock and grieve the loss of my Tree that had been with me for over half of my life.

Redwoods have a very shallow root system for such tall trees (the tallest trees in the world, in fact) and when the ground gets soaked with rain, and then the winds start, they can easily topple to the ground.

I went back with flowers for Her and wanted to have a funeral/memorial for this amazing Being who has been with me for the last half of my life.

This time when I approached Her, I noticed the most beautiful thing...She was already sprouting new growth from her beautiful trunk, almost as if to show me that She is still very much alive and here for me.

I also noticed that there were 2 huge pieces of Her trunk still standing taller than most houses, so I made that the spot of Her memorial, and I placed the flowers I brought for Her there.

I had a good long talk with Her, and thanked her for everything She had been there to shelter me through. Literal storms of rain in the Redwoods where I would hide out inside the massive hole in Her trunk, emotional storms of life where I would crawl inside of Her and cry/meditate/nap/do Reiki and all of the special times I had with Her doing magic and ritual inside of Her, knowing that the ancient energy She provided would push my own magic even further.

I crawled down to the massive hole that was in the forest floor for one last time being where I used to sit inside of her and read some of my journal entries I wrote in that very spot. Wisdom she whispered to me and the energetic exchange that only something so ancient and massive can give.

I noticed that how She was laying on the forest floor, and the way the hole was in Her trunk, a beautiful heart was inside of Her showing me that She still has love for me, even in the shadows of the death of Her old self.

I then told her to rest easy on that forest floor, and that I would still visit Her every trip, to see how beautiful She will change and transform into a vast living cathedral for all of the forest plants to grow on.

Fallen Redwoods are far from dead, they are hosts to thousands of different lifeforms including being covered in moss, ferns, clovers and even sprouting exact carbon copies of themselves in hew trees that grow from their fallen bodies.

I actually can't wait to see how the next 50 years of Her transformation and creating life from Her resting place. 3,000 years is a long time to be upright...she deserves a rest.

I did ask Her to help me find my next Tree to go within to do ritual and hide within its massive trunk to heal, and I had a dream that She would help me. I kept getting flashes of tiny clover off shoot trails being where I would find my new Tree, and I just trusted that my new Tree would call me to Her.

I have been searching this whole trip, and yesterday I am proud to announce that my new Tree found me.

I had an idea where the Clover Trails would be and set out to that particular trail, but my car basically turned the steering wheel itself to a tiny road going a different way, and I got out and saw some clover trails, walked them for a few minutes, and immediately gasped and started crying when I found my new Tree.

This one is just as magical, just as ancient and just as special as my old Tree who is beautifully resting a few miles South. This one also has 2 massive trees sprouting from one incredible trunk, and I am able to walk inside of it, and sit in a naturally made seat within the hole in the Tree.

It's like this Tree was made for me and I was made for Her. I very much look forward to getting to know this Tree for the rest of my life, and I already feel a deep kinship for my beautifully magic Double Redwood Magical Portal.

RIP to my beautiful Tree of the past 25 years...

Welcome to my heart, my new amazing Tree.

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