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Writer's pictureKristin Dwan

Death is not an Ending

During my October in The Redwoods, I was taught many lessons, as I always have been since birth.

This trip, however…the lessons seemed to be even more poignant than usual. Perhaps it was because I was going on this trip within a space of peace. Instead of running to the trees crying and purging…I was able to float through them listening and receiving.


When one comes to a place so powerful and peaceful as these woods, already within a place of peace…you cannot help but be filled to the brim with the wisdom of the Ancient ones. What they taught me this trip was that as much as I think I have nothing else to release…there will always be something to “kill off” in order to grow the newer stronger version of love…of life…of work…of me.

Most people, including myself, always see death and rebirth as a black or white experience. I thought that I must completely kill something and burn it completely away from my life, in order to grow something new/better/stronger. I did this with people, scenes, lifestyle choices and spiritual endeavors.

What the forest lovingly taught me, was that there is a gray area (something I have a lifelong lesson to learn)…black or white is so much easier to accept than the beautiful grays that whisper within the twilight of our lessons. Yes…decisions have to be made, and yes…certain things in life need to be uprooted before we can plant anew…but sometimes…it takes a death in order for life to sprout on the old, creating a whole new level of experience and lesson.


Take, for instance this uprooted Redwood that I happened upon…the tree itself is dead…the roots give up holding the massive being upright, and the Ancient Master gives up and falls to the moist fertile moss covered earth.

Most people would think that this tree has seen its better days, and it is nothing but a carcass of what once was.

Quite the opposite…this carcass now becomes the beginning of a whole micro forest within the vast expanse of green life surrounding it.

Notice all of the ferns, clover, moss and other plant life which is sprouting from its demise. Notice the immense beauty that it brings to the forest within its slumber. Animals find shelter within it, and it feeds the forest still within its death, just like it did when it was a towering giant in its prime.

This made me think of people I have burned out of my life and the places I wish to not go emotionally with them. The emotions and all the attachment I had to them are much better being burned away from me. Much like this mighty Redwood…the attachments were not strong enough to hold the relationship upright…so it all toppled down.


Once I had this realization…I started noticing more and more trees laying in the moist earth supporting the new growth of the forest. They have a beauty and wonder of their own…like giant forest sculptures sustaining life decades and lifetimes after their ancient life has passed. Huge monoliths of beauty and power hosting the intricate growth of the tiniest of plants tirelessly.


Some were hit by lightning and literally burned to the ground, leaving only a small fraction of what once was. Whatever was left…still hosted a beautiful display of life and beauty with moss shining with the morning dew glittering in the filtered forest sun.


The people (mainly ex lovers) I have burned out of my life still hold a beautiful space within the forest of my heart. Not the towering powerful space they used to when I was putting my time, love and energy into them…but the carcass of what once was is still a beautiful foundation on which I am building my next beautiful relationship to manifest itself to me.

I walked for hours and miles within the roaring silence of the woods, and noticed just how many of these amazing sculptures of life after death there are hidden amongst the giants. I thought more and more on all of the amazing men I have had the honor of sharing love with…and even the ones that were lessons of what I don’t want to manifest in my next love, still had good qualities of that which I know I deserve more of within my next go around with love.

This past year has been all about creating a stable foundation of love and commitment to myself, before I set my sights on another to co-create an amazing relationship with.

Co-create is the key word here…he needs to be creating it WITH me…not me creating is FOR us.

Now that I have a huge love and foundation within myself and what I have created in my life…I know that I am finally on the right level to attract a man who is what I deserve…not just what I desire.


Walking through miles and miles of clover…I spotted a heart shaped clover amongst all the rest…this showed me that the forest was hearing my call for love, as I have heard the call of the woods clearly and loudly my whole life.


One thing I also noticed during this trip, was the way I was seeing the beauty in the small things in Nature like the moss, tiniest of mushrooms and miles and miles of clover shining with dew drops in the misty sunlight.

Usually I am so overtaken by the vastness and size of the Redwoods, that I focus on their size and gloss over the details.

This trip I reveled in the details…in fact I learned quite a bit from the tiniest of details within the huge tapestry of life within those woods.

Not to say that I didn’t revel in things that were huge and towering over me…in fact when I was around those types of places in the woods, I realized just how small and insignificant I am on this planet, and confirmed the that Nature really DOES have the upper hand…even if humans have deadened themselves so much to the power of Nature that they have forgotten its huge affect on us.

I personally LOVE being a little tiny spot within the green glorious velvet womb of Nature, and knowing that I have but to give into the flow of the river…in order to arrive at the power of the Ocean.

It’s fun to stop off and enjoy the scenery once in a while within the flow as well. You just may find yourself in a canyon taller than some high rises, filled with ferns, waterfalls and clover with Redwoods growing at the top of the canyon towering over you and showing you just how powerful they are…and just how in awe you can be within their pure power and love.


                               To pure power within love…and beyond.

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